Today I reached a new low.
Let me set the scene: The entire office took a 15 minute break and gathered in the center of the room to attend the retirement party for one of my co-workers. Yes, that's right - give us 30+ years of your life and we will celebrate over brownies for 15 minutes. Anywho... the point is that everyone was there.
I had been standing in the crowd for ten minutes when a woman taps me on the shoulder. "Uhm," she whispered, "your skirt isn't zipped up." I put my hands over my behind and yup, there's a big hole. "Oh my god," I whisper back, as I slowly retreat to the ladies room.
As I'm walking there, I think to myself, "Didn't I zip it up this morning? I'm sure I did." And when I reach the restroom, I realize three things:
1. Yes, I did zip it up this morning.
2. The zip is completely busted, meaning the zipper is at the top and the teeth have torn themselves apart.
3. I have on a thong and the entire "T" of the thong (including tush!) has been on show for God-knows how long.
Now I'd like to point out that 1) this skirt fits, it's even a little big and 2) I bought it three days ago. The zipper should not have busted.
Now the story gets worse. I manage to get the zipper half way down the zip, thus "re-zipping" the top of the zipper but still leaving a sizable hole where the teeth won't close. I man-handle this skirt for another four or five minutes before completely breaking the zipper pull OFF one side.
I now have a huge hole exposing my tush with no way to fix it. I contemplate telling my boss I have to go home. No go - I have meetings that I absolutely cannot miss. I've been out of the office since Thursday and this week is short enough with the holiday.
So what's a girl to do? I can't pin it because it would require about five pins and would still be on display every time I stood up. I decide that I shall have to break my rule about looking put-together at the office. Desperate times = desperate measures.
I hiked my skirt up so that the hole was covered by my sweater. What was once a neat, knee-length pencil skirt became a mini. I then grabbed my emergency fleece shawl neck cardigan (worn ONLY on casual Fridays and even then ONLY at my desk) and threw it on. It covered my tush enough that I felt I could make it through my meetings with some strategic notebook placement while walking the halls.
I made it through the day even though I got some really strange looks from people.
Gap is going to get a mouthful when I return that blasted skirt tomorrow.
I'm back... I think...
7 years ago