Twilight

SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!!














Don't say I didn't warn you.



Ok, so I know I'm a week behind the people who spent $70 million to make Twilight the biggest movie weekend since Dark Knight. In fact, most of the audience in my theater were teenage girls and their parents returning for another viewing.

Anywho, I promised my friend D that I would wait for her to finish the first book before we went to see it together on film.

All I can say is that 16 year old Elliott kept making this noise: "SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!" Yes, I totally got swept up in it. I think that they did a good job cutting down the novel while leaving the key plot points. Note: the two hours flew by, mostly because I knew how much was cut out.

However, I must admit that overall, Twilight was unintentionally funny. I hate to pick on her but the actress who played Bella, Kristin Stewart, kept me in constant giggles. She didn't have much of a script to work with, really: "I know what you are. You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold." But really, the delivery was hil-ar-ious. She made Bella a hell of a lot more twitchy than I imagined. And I didn't get the warmth from Bella that I did in the novel. Again, probably due to time limits in the script. But still...

Ok, so let's chat about each of the cast members:

Bella. V. pretty. Too twitchy. I totally didn't believe her when she would say she wasn't scared which I did in the book.

Edward. Le swoon. He also had some unforgivably bad lines but R.Pattz's so dreamy I didn't mind. (DH, I know you read my blog. Know that you're the one for me. And Edward's the vampire for me. You know, in my fictional life.)

Jacob. In my head Jacob was a pretty tiny dude. Definitely not as cutie-patootie as Taylor Lautner. I felt the chemistry between him and Kristen a heck of a lot more than between her and R.Pattz.

Charlie. Again, not what I pictured but a pretty good representation of a divorced daddy-o.

Billy. HILARIOUS. Love.

Carlisle. I couldn't stop looking at Peter Facinelli's hair. Icky.

Rosalie. She definitely nailed the bitchy part. Yikes.

Emmet/Jasper/Alice. Didn't really get a sense for any of these characters. Hopefully the sequel will make them more interesting.

James. Not scary. Meh. Buh-bye.

Things I likes in the film:

*The Cullens' house. Oh my, I want to move in right this second.
*Edward's driving. Someone has taken a defensive driving course.
*Edward was wearing eyeliner and lip gloss. Now we know how the Cullen men look so hottie-potatie - makeup!
*The scenery was beautiful. I've never been to the Pacific Northwest but you can bet your buttons I'm going to go now!
*R.Pattz's little tiny British accent slipups. Because DH is English, I think I heard them but no one else did.
*The baseball game was better than I had imagined.

Things that made me laugh out loud:
*I didn't really notice in the book but the entire thing is like an abstinence-only ad. Edward and Bella can only kiss because it's dangerous to do anything else. Edward might loose control. So instead they kiss and then spend the night talking until Bella falls asleep on Edward's chest. Hil-ar-ious. Good ol' Mormons - they really know how to date, donchathink?
*Edward's skin glittering "like diamonds." Yeah...he looked like an Easter egg that had landed in a batch of gold glitter. Bad, bad, bad effect.

So, yeah, that's about it. Would I stampede to get a copy of the dvd? No. But I will definitely be looking for the sequel as soon as they make it. Thanks for reading!