Twilight

SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!!














Don't say I didn't warn you.



Ok, so I know I'm a week behind the people who spent $70 million to make Twilight the biggest movie weekend since Dark Knight. In fact, most of the audience in my theater were teenage girls and their parents returning for another viewing.

Anywho, I promised my friend D that I would wait for her to finish the first book before we went to see it together on film.

All I can say is that 16 year old Elliott kept making this noise: "SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!" Yes, I totally got swept up in it. I think that they did a good job cutting down the novel while leaving the key plot points. Note: the two hours flew by, mostly because I knew how much was cut out.

However, I must admit that overall, Twilight was unintentionally funny. I hate to pick on her but the actress who played Bella, Kristin Stewart, kept me in constant giggles. She didn't have much of a script to work with, really: "I know what you are. You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold." But really, the delivery was hil-ar-ious. She made Bella a hell of a lot more twitchy than I imagined. And I didn't get the warmth from Bella that I did in the novel. Again, probably due to time limits in the script. But still...

Ok, so let's chat about each of the cast members:

Bella. V. pretty. Too twitchy. I totally didn't believe her when she would say she wasn't scared which I did in the book.

Edward. Le swoon. He also had some unforgivably bad lines but R.Pattz's so dreamy I didn't mind. (DH, I know you read my blog. Know that you're the one for me. And Edward's the vampire for me. You know, in my fictional life.)

Jacob. In my head Jacob was a pretty tiny dude. Definitely not as cutie-patootie as Taylor Lautner. I felt the chemistry between him and Kristen a heck of a lot more than between her and R.Pattz.

Charlie. Again, not what I pictured but a pretty good representation of a divorced daddy-o.

Billy. HILARIOUS. Love.

Carlisle. I couldn't stop looking at Peter Facinelli's hair. Icky.

Rosalie. She definitely nailed the bitchy part. Yikes.

Emmet/Jasper/Alice. Didn't really get a sense for any of these characters. Hopefully the sequel will make them more interesting.

James. Not scary. Meh. Buh-bye.

Things I likes in the film:

*The Cullens' house. Oh my, I want to move in right this second.
*Edward's driving. Someone has taken a defensive driving course.
*Edward was wearing eyeliner and lip gloss. Now we know how the Cullen men look so hottie-potatie - makeup!
*The scenery was beautiful. I've never been to the Pacific Northwest but you can bet your buttons I'm going to go now!
*R.Pattz's little tiny British accent slipups. Because DH is English, I think I heard them but no one else did.
*The baseball game was better than I had imagined.

Things that made me laugh out loud:
*I didn't really notice in the book but the entire thing is like an abstinence-only ad. Edward and Bella can only kiss because it's dangerous to do anything else. Edward might loose control. So instead they kiss and then spend the night talking until Bella falls asleep on Edward's chest. Hil-ar-ious. Good ol' Mormons - they really know how to date, donchathink?
*Edward's skin glittering "like diamonds." Yeah...he looked like an Easter egg that had landed in a batch of gold glitter. Bad, bad, bad effect.

So, yeah, that's about it. Would I stampede to get a copy of the dvd? No. But I will definitely be looking for the sequel as soon as they make it. Thanks for reading!

Tis the Season

Sorry I haven't been posting much. I have been writing so much at work that when I get home I can't stand to type another word. So I think I'll take it easy and do a top ten.

Top ten holiday movies:

10. A Christmas Story. You know how TNT plays this for 24 hours every year? Yeah...about five years ago I had a severe case of food poisoning. I was too weak to get up off the floor to get the remote to change the channel so I watched "A Christmas Story" for 20 of 24 hours. Surprisingly, I still love it. "Getting ready to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep-sea diving."


9. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The original, Boris Karloff version. I remember watching this on the couch with my Daddy when I was little. "Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea."


8. Christmas in Connecticut. My Muhmoo's favorite. She puts it on while making gingerbread cookies and I feel totally at home. Uncle Felix is my favorite: "Catastroph!"

7. Elf. Does Will Ferrell get any better that Buddy the Elf (what's your favorite color)? I think not. "You sit on a throne of lies!"


6. Die Hard. Some people deal with pushy relatives. John deals with German terrorists. Awesome. "The circuits that cannnot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident. You asked for miracles, Theo, I give you the FBI."

5. The Holiday. Surprisingly fun British/American rom-com. I never understood why people liked Jude Law until I gave it a watch on Encore. "I'm looking for corny in my life."

4. Scrooged. Bill Murray's version, never Patrick Stewart's. "No, you are a hallucination, brought on by alcohol. Russian Vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl."

3. Love, Actually. I cry *every* time I watch it. Pitch perfect, really. "Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free."


2. Bridget Jones's Diary. I'm desperately trying to find DH a reindeer jumper so that he'll be my personal Mark Darcy. "I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan."

1. Christmas Vacation. It isn't Christmas until the Griswolds make their appearance. "Merry Christmas. Shitter was full."

Anthro

My inlaws gave me a really generous giftcard to Anthropologie for my birthday. I picked out this cardigan from Sparrow. It's ADORABLE with skinny jeans and dark brown boots. And now it's half price on the Anthro website. Run, kittens, run for your wallets!

Either excellent or foul

I am strangely intrigued by the idea of PB Loco's Peanut Butter with Asian Curry Spice. Apparently they use it in the PB Loco restaurant to make a sandwich with cucumbers and pineapple. I don't know about you, but that sounds dang tasty, especially on some sprouted bread.

And you can bet a jar of their Peanut Butter with Sumatra Cinnamon and Raisins is already in my cart, waiting for check out. When I was little, my favorite breakfast was a slice of raisin bread with melted peanut butter. I'm sure this will be just as good as my Dahdoo's JIF!

Ugh.

So baking season is upon us. I love to bake but don't do it as often as I'd like because DH and I are total sweet tooth people. I mean, if I make cookies for my friends, at least a half dozen will be missing before we even start packaging!

Anywho, we're celebrating birthdays in my office tomorrow and I wanted to make Bobby Flay's coconut cake from Throw Down. I read through the recipe last night and it isn't difficult - a simple vanilla cake, coconut simple syrup, coconut custard filling, and coconut buttercream.

Yeah, right.

The cake was easy. Truly, it was. My mother always, always, always baked from scratch so I've been sifting cake flour since I was a lil' thing. Ditto the coconut syrup. (FYI - flavored simple syrup is awesome for baking but even better for cocktails. Mmm...)

Now here's where the recipe went to hell and a handbasket. The coconut custard is used both as a filling and as the flavoring in the buttercream. I approached this with apprehension - puddings are not my friends. You'd think bringing something to a boil while constantly stirring would be easy. No, no it is not.

Try #1: Boiled over when I went to turn off a timer.

Try #2: Scrambled eggs. 'Nuff said.

Try #3: Wouldn't thicken.

At this point I've wasted $20 worth of vanilla beans, I'm out of coconut milk, and my previously spotless kitchen looks like a Jackson Pollack impression from all of the milk explosions.

So now my cake is custard-free, the buttercream is just plain ol' vanilla, and it still looks pretty. It'll be way less coconutty than I wanted it but that's just fine, I think. DH is out of town this week so my favorite taste tester isn't here. Cross your fingers that it tastes ok!

Bowl-bound

YES! YES! VANDY, VANDY, OH HELL YEAH!!!

Puppies. Live. 24/7.

I could watch them all day:

Puppycam!

Sweet dreams are made of these...

Ok, I had a really, really disturbing dream last night and I've been pondering it most of the day. What do y'all think it means?

So in my dream I was sleeping. (This is a common theme. I sleep and dream in my dreams a lot.) I had a dream within my dream that Jesus was walking towards me. The then says something along the lines of "I'm Jesus Christ and you have been chosen to have my son..." and I think in my dream-within-a-dream that this is very much like the Biblical story of Mary. Yes, I know she was approached by an angel but I guess my dream-self is special because I got the big man himself, Jesus.

Anywho, I remember being very, very freaked out by the idea of a holy birth. My dream-within-a-dream-self grabs a phonebook and CLOCKS JESUS IN THE FACE while shouting "No Jesus! No impregnation!"

As my dream-within-a-dream-self then realizes "Holy shit - I just hit Jesus! I'm SO going to Hell for this!"

And then I woke up. For realsies.

Actually, typing this up, it's a pretty funny dream. I guess I'm not as ready for kids as I thought I was.

Introducing...Coastal Frijoles

DH bought me Rock Band for my birthday. When my ladies were in town we played a ton. Turns out they are both Rock Band prodigies and kick serious butt! So here's our band, Coastal Frijoles:

E and N have gone and I am sad. (BTW - If either of you is reading this, LEAVE ME A COMMENT! I AM A COMMENT WHORE!)

However, DH's friends N and A have flown in from the UK. Really fun, cool dudes. We are having an excellent time which is why I must leave you with one last quotation from the weekend:

E: "I don't want to make out with people when I'm asleep. That's called date rape."

I swear that was really, really funny in context.

Hello kittens!

My two best friends, E and N are in town. I LOVE these girls like sisters - they were my MOHs at my wedding. I probably won't post again until Sunday so I'll leave you with a funny:

E: You should think about working for Jesus. You get to hear your priest say "Fuck!" ... It really messes up your day.

Yes WE CAN! Woo!

I salute you, President-elect Obama.

That is all.

Important decision

Tonight do I:

A) Go to the pub with friends to watch the election results and participate in our weekly pub quiz?

or

B) Watch the Madonna concert from our rooftop:



Side A: I am a nervous Nelly and HAVE to know what's going on in the election. My friends are fun. I enjoy the pub quiz a heck of a lot. (Shandies AND trivia?! My idea of heaven!)

Side B: It's Madonna. For free. No good view of the stage but it's the Material Girl in all her glory.

Decisions, decisions...

AIIIYYYYEEEE!!!

First video from the Twilight soundtrack, Decode by Paramore. Lots of snippets from the movie that aren't in the trailers. I'm not sure about the song, it's a bit "meh" but I LOVE the singer's red hair. I had that color hair for .2 seconds when I was a teenager. (Mama Elliott said "No. No, no, no, no, no!" when I walked in. It was stripped out of my hair shortly thereafter.)

I have a secret....

I'm a HUGE Twilight fan. Yes, I read trashy teenage vampire love stories. Repeatedly.

I've passed my copies of the books to my girlfriends with the hope that they will finish before the movie comes out at the end of November. I plan on wearing my Team Edward tshirt on the first night it's out. (Yes, I had to go into Hot Topic to get my shirt. *ew* Not preppy.)

Thank goodness I don't have a jealous husband because I'm totally head over heels for a fictional vampire. I mean, I act like a swooning 16 year old girl when I read the books. DH thinks that my crush on Edward is hysterical. Phew.

Anyone else out there a fan of the series?

***Update***
Stephenie Meyer has posted soundtracks for each of the books. I'm downloading the one for Twilight right now:

1. "Why Does it Always Rain on Me?" — Travis
2. "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" [video edit] — My Chemical Romance
3. "Creep" [radio edit] — Radiohead
4. "In My Place" — Coldplay
5. "By Myself" — Linkin Park
6. "Dreaming" — OMD
7. "Please Forgive Me" — David Gray
8. "Here With Me" — Dido
9. "With You" [reanimation remix] — Linkin Park
10. "Time is Running Out" — Muse
11. "Dreams" — The Cranberries
12. "Tremble for My Beloved" — Collective Soul
13. "Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel)" — Billy Joel